My journey with clutter has been messy. I grew up in a cluttered household where my parents kept everything, and I mean everything. My dad still has all the old bikes, scooters, toys, and even my crib—all neatly stored in his garage. Meanwhile, my mom has all our old clothes, shoes, books, movies, CDs, and school projects; the list goes on and on.
This blog post is all about the psychology of clutter.
I swore I wouldn’t be like my parents, but my home slowly accumulated clutter. For years, I was the queen of “I might need this someday” and “But it was on sale!” My house looked like Hobby Lobby, and Homegoods threw up in it!
I would spend my weekends cleaning and organizing all the sh*t that I had accumulated throughout the years. Then, one day, my husband and I moved to a different state, and all the stuff that I had collected was causing so much anxiety and stress. It also cost me a lot of money to move all this stuff.
Here’s the thing about clutter – it’s not just about the physical stuff. It’s all tied up in our emotions and past experiences. I realized I was holding onto things because of a fear of scarcity – passed down from my parents. You see. I didn’t struggle through scarcity, but my parents did. They had so little growing up that they needed to hoard everything for a “just in case” situation.
Why do we hoard?
Through my personal experience, I’ve noticed that hoarding is almost always a response to trauma (including generational trauma) or a learned habit from family or friends.
Fear of Scarcity and Clutter
I grew up with stories of my parents’ and grandparents’ poverty and deprivation. It was part of my worldview growing up and engrained in my psyche. I also witnessed how they hoarded and saved. Their biggest fear was running out of food or water or being kicked out of their home. By the time I was born, it was an irrational fear that they passed down to me.
Unfortunately, many people suffer through poverty, and the fear of scarcity prevents them from letting go of all the crap that is holding them back from achieving true freedom. This mindset, commonly formed by experiences of hardship or economic uncertainty, fosters the belief that resources may one day run out, so it’s safer to keep anything potentially useful.
This tendency to stockpile can be passed down to our children, who observe and internalize their parents’ habits and attitudes toward possessions. Growing up in an environment where items are rarely discarded taught me to associate belongings with security. That is how I adopted the “just-in-case” approach.
This inherited clutter mindset impacted how I perceived material things, valuing quantity over functionality or organization. As I became an adult, these patterns persisted, creating a cycle of clutter based on a perceived need to prepare for potential shortages that might never come.
Grief and Clutter
Grief also attracts clutter, especially among women, as a way of coping with profound loss. My mother lost her father, and my father lost his mother, so they both had profound loss. This loss magnified their need to keep precious things stored in every corner and cranny of their homes.
These items became symbolic to them—an old T-shirt, a letter, an airplane ticket, etc. Over time, these possessions piled up, accumulating everyday items creating a sense of control when life felt chaotic.
Some people may hold onto things to fill a void or create a protective layer between themselves and the world. This behavior can also stem from the fear of forgetting precious moments associated with loved ones or the desire to maintain a link to the past.
While initially comforting, excessive attachment to objects can lead to overwhelming clutter, impacting one’s physical space and mental well-being.
Inherited Clutter Habits
Even without personally experiencing poverty or grief, the habits of cluttering and hoarding can be passed down by parents who did. As their child, you may grow up surrounded by these behaviors, absorbing the underlying beliefs and fears about “needing” things, even if you have not experienced the same hardships.
This learned tendency can lead you to hold onto items, not out of necessity but out of an inherited sense of security tied to abundance. It may even feel natural to accumulate more than you need as you unconsciously believe that having “just enough” is too risky, even if your circumstances are stable.
Therefore, the clutter may become an invisible legacy, passed down not through experience but through the subtle messages around scarcity and safety your parents’ habits conveyed. If you also are drowning in clutter, try the 5S System – a holistic decluttering method.
This blog post was all about the psychology of clutter!
